Common Threads: November 2012

If you google the word advent you might find something like this:
Advent- the Lord is coming, a time of expectant waiting and preparation for the celebration of the Nativity of Jesus at Christmas.

Just reading those words causes me to pause and thank God for the gift of Jesus. But, last year I asked myself if I was really expectantly awaiting anything and preparing for a celebration...I realized that I needed to have more of a Christ-centered focus during the entire Christmas season. And, since I also wanted to pass this down to my sons, I decided to do something that included our entire family. I remembered reading a story of a mom who did "40 acts of kindness" on her 40th birthday so I thought I would tweak her idea and do something similar for Advent. My desire was to stay focused on the Lord's coming throughout the month, teach the boys about the true meaning of Christmas through serving, giving, and showing love to those who may be forgotten, and spending quality time as a family.

So, here are a few ideas for you to consider this season!
Day 1: Leave goodies for your mail carrier with a note attached saying "We appreciate you! Merry Christmas!"
Day 2: Make cards or ornaments and deliver to a nearby nursing home (We did this last year and the elderly people we visited absolutely loved it!)
Day 3: Pray for a specific family member all day long
Day 4: Leave dollar bills in random spots at Dollar Tree, Dollar General, etc.
Day 5: Write a hand-written note to someone and mail it to them (even if you live in the same house)
Day 6: Read chapters from the Bible on the birth of Christ
Day 7: Bake cookies for special needs or sick children and deliver to them
Day 8: Pray for an "enemy"
Day 9: Leave money in a vending machine
Day 10: Tip your server at a restaurant VERY well (my personal favorite!)
Day 11: Donate toys from the toy box to a nearby daycare, charity, etc.
Day 12: Have a worship/dance party at home
Day 13: Make handmade ornaments, garland, etc.
Day 14: Go out and look at Christmas lights together
Day 15: Deliver goodies to your neighbors (& you can even sing carols if you like :)

I would love to know your Advent ideas, too, so please share with me! Lastly, I will leave you with this video from www.adventconspiracy.org...pretty powerful stuff.

Be blessed as you expectantly await our Savior's birth!
Tiffany

The prompting to begin common threads all started because of the following story...and our desire to encourage and support families who might have a similar story, while enabling others to get involved in our mission.

Healing Has Come.

"I am not sure exactly what is going on with Jack, but I am definitely concerned", said our doctor after months of noticing delay in our 9 month old son. An MRI was ordered immediately and we waited for 2 weeks to get an answer. But, I already knew in my spirit that we were looking at something very serious. So, on my 30th birthday, we found ourselves waiting in the doctor's office for the results. The neurologist came in to examine Jack after "not noticing anything alarming from the MRI" to go back into her office to look more closely at his results. And, after what seemed like forever, we hear these painful words, "After looking again, I did find something. I believe Jack has Cerebral Palsy." Time stood still and my heart broke into a thousand pieces. I looked into my son's beautiful blue eyes and wondered if I could ever be the Mom he needed me to be. And, I held onto my husband for dear life because I knew right then that our lives would never be the same.

The days, weeks, and months ahead would be some of the most painful experiences of my life. And, I thought I had already been through difficult seasons with miscarriages, my mom passing away, and heavy financial burdens. There were times of extreme loneliness, grief, and guilt that seemed to suffocate me at times. It is only by the power and healing touch of Jesus and those willing to be used by Him that I came out of this better than I was before. It was not easy, or always pretty, but healing has come...and it might look different that you think.

I am often asked how I reached this point after such pain and heartache with my child and I desperately want to encourage other moms who have special children. Allow others to help you-our parents, extended family, friends, therapists, and even complete strangers have been our biggest supporters through this journey and we are so thankful for their encouragement, love, and prayers. Also remember to reach out to those who can relate to you...we need to know that someone can identify with us. I know your pain and so does the Lord. Remember that as you read my story of healing-He wants to heal your broken heart too.

Summers are always hard for stay at home moms, but this particular summer was even harder for me. The loneliness was unlike anything I could have imagined and I did not know how to battle it. Mostly because I hated feeling alone, but I did not want to be around a lot of people either. Even though I had a very typical experience with Jack's older brother, Will, it was still so hard being around others with typical children. It seemed like the disability was so noticeable all of a sudden. Now that we had an actual diagnosis, everything seemed to change. And, the more people we saw, the more questions we had to answer. I wanted to get on a loud speaker and just announce it to the world, "Jack has CP, but he is still Jack and God made him perfect in His eyes!" Too bad it was not that easy, huh? Throughout the summer, I isolated myself just enough, mostly out of self protection and not wanting to burden anyone with my issues. Well, along came fall, and that meant our MOMS group at church would start back up from our summer break. I knew I had two choices-drop out and completely isolate myself or return to MOMS and get support from the women God placed in my life for this season. I knew God's Word says that we are to carry each other's burdens and encourage one another so I decided to return to MOMS and pray that I would be open about my struggles. Throughout the next 9 months, I received so much encouragement, prayer, financial help, and love from these precious friends. On one particular occasion, the group laid hands on me and prayed over our family; it was so incredibly powerful to be the recipient of such prophetic prayers. And, so much healing occurred on that day for me. My "sisters" prayed things over me and for me that I had not shared with anyone. The Lord gave them the perfect words because He knew how broken I was. All I could do was thank Him for bringing me back to MOMS...to think that I might have missed out on healing because I didn't want to share my struggles is absurd to me now. Until I am reminded that the enemy wants us to isolate ourselves and feel all alone...but, the Lord wants us to fellowship and hurt with those who are hurting and encourage each other during difficult times. Although none of these women have children with special needs, they were all used by the Lord to minister to my broken heart. Truly the body of Christ is a beautiful thing. The pieces were starting to be put back together, and maybe, just maybe, my heart would overflow like never before.

Well, after the loneliness had subsided some, the guilt crept in with demanding force. I started questioning and asking the "whys" and "hows". We knew there was brain damage, but we were never told why or how this happened. We may never know and that is hard. It could have been a stroke or something developmental, we just don't know. So, I remember asking myself at one point, did I cause this? What did I do wrong during pregnancy? Did my moms death cause me to stress too much and cause a stroke in utero? Did I not take enough pre-natals? Was it his jaundice? The list goes on and on. And, the questions I asked myself were so raw and painful, even now, after so much healing has occurred, I weep. To think you are responsible for your child suffering is difficult to swallow... to think of your child having a lifelong, incurable condition and you are responsible in anyway, is almost unbearable. At one point I went to my husband who was also hurting so much, and apologized to him. If he thought I did anything to cause this, that would kill me. He held me and we cried together, and he was so sweet to tell me that he did not blame me. Even then, I still felt guilt. I decided to share some of this with my OB-GYN and she looked me square in the eyes and said, "You let all of that guilt go now, in Jesus name. You did not cause this, the Lord made Jack and he is fearfully and wonderfully made. He will get you through this...if you allow Him to." Wow. Her words were so powerful and I prayed to let the guilt go, all together. I wanted to love Jack for just being Jack...I wanted him to know his momma loved him and did not have guilt about who he is. Because he is an amazing, wonderful, child of God. I believe our children are very aware of our fears and insecurities about them. I did not want Jack to feel insecure about my love for him so I stopped asking "why" or "how" and allowed the Lord to heal this part of my heart too, because I wanted to trust in Him so completely, even though I may never know why my child was given this condition...His ways are not my ways and His thoughts are not my thoughts. He has always loved Jack, just as he is and Jack needs a mom to love him like this too.

And then there was grief. Why my mother-in-love mentioned to me that I needed to let myself grieve, I was not prepared for all that entailed. She knew that I was struggling and needed to allow myself to grieve so that I could heal, too. So thankful she loved me enough to speak so much truth in love to me. Of course, I thought I knew grief from losing my mom...but this was totally different. I had to grieve for my child, my child that I still get to see everyday. I really did not even know where to start. But, it hit me square in the eyes one day. As I watched Jack in physical therapy, I started grieving the child we had for 9 months without a diagnosis, and letting go of all the previous dreams we had for him and started to dream NEW dreams. It was as if a light bulb went off in my head that day- just because Jack may not have the life we initially thought he would, doesn't mean that his life cannot be great and purposeful. The Lord started to show me that he was using Jack to encourage and minister to others in a big way. He is able to draw people into him in such a special way. I have seen hearts softened and burdens lifted and I believe the Lord has given him this unique ability. When I think about what I want for my children more than anything, it is for them to love the Lord with all of their heart, soul, and mind. And, love their neighbor as themselves. I see Jack doing this and when I do, the grief is gone. Instead of grieving the child I had, I praise God for the gift in front of me.

So I mentioned that healing has come...is Jack completely healed of Cerebral Palsy? Is he independently walking at 3 years old? Does he say 3 word sentences often? The answer to all of the questions is "NO". But, I have seen so many miracles of healing the last 2.5 years. Undoubtedly, healing has come, in the most amazing ways. My broken heart has been healed because I have seen the work of the Lord displayed. And, this situation has also set me free from other strongholds in my life like insecurity, comparison, and worry. What an unexpected blessing to receive. Also, my husband's faith has been transformed and renewed in such a powerful way. Will has a tenderness towards others who might be a little different from him and so much compassion and love for his brother. Jack has persevered through so much and continues to surprise us with new victories everyday. He keeps me grounded with the right perspective...a constant dependence on the Lord for everything in my life. So, although there are still hard days when I want so much more for Jack, and yes, I still pray for a complete healing on his body, I praise my God for the healing He has already given us and pray I always stay completely dependent upon Him because that's the BEST place to be.

Be blessed!
Tiffany

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11.27.2012

The Lord is Coming!

11.20.2012

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